The Good Ol Days.

As i sit with my family and chat over wonderful food , we begin to look into the past and think of all the fun moments we've encountered. The times we did really silly things, really fun things, and even the sad times. i began to think of how important it is to look back and pull up memories. Memories are so important because they remind you of the person you were and how much you've grown. Memories remind you of old friends you haven't spoken to , which leads you to pick up  your address book and call that someone. Memories have a way of putting you back on track after losing your way. When times seem to get hard and life passes fast , it takes remanences to bring you back from the grey zone and  into the light. 

Going into this conversation with my family , i was kind of losing myself in the speed of things, not knowing exactly where to go. When things in life come so fast , and one is overwhelmed, life losses its excitement and joy.Fortunately i was about to discover  that one sure way to regain that zest for life is looking back at it with friends and family. My family and i talked about are experiences together, silly moments we'd never forget, places we had visited and people we'd met.We also  talk about the way I used to be infatuated with silly television show characters , strange activities, and games my friends and i played . After all that discussion, i began to smile. But this smile was unlike any other, this smile began from my heart then traveled to the crease of my lips which split into opposite directions pushing my cheeks aside. The greatest smile I had in a long time. At that moment everything in life fell into place . I could feel my body again , and my heart started to beat. I knew i was happy and everything would be alright. Sometimes It just takes a little story telling to put one back in the race-for life.

Its kind of funny to think of the things in life we say are impossible, or things we tell ourselves we could never do. I'm not the kind of person to doubt things and i tend to stay pretty positive though, i must admit there were times i would say, " that's impossible", or " that well never happen." I've even caught myself saying something like, "no one can do that," but on the night of November 4, 2008 i made my mind that nothing in this entire world is unreachable.  On this night The first African American was elected president of the United States. But why is this life changing? 

Having a black president was always one of those dreams my community had that no one ever truly believed in. It had its place as an accomplishment that we set as the ultimate , so it gave the lesser hope. Who ever believed it would actually happen? I didn't. I always saw it as a great idea, and something that would inspire a generation, but i gave up on that dream long ago. I couldn't picture what he would look like, what he would say, or what he would believe in. Now all that is a memory. I know now he would look like me, he would say what he truly believed in, and he would believe in change. I'm so proud to be me , with the color on my skin and struggles of my families past, because it was all worth it.

Crush???

So its safe to say that everyone has had that special person that clouds their thoughts throughout the day right until you close your eyes to sleep. The question is, how do you seperate if this person is a mere crush or if he or she is sinking into your skin to let you know that their the one for you? You have nothing more to work from with a crush , desides their beautiful features and charming personality. One is oblivious to any flaws this person has , not because there are none, but because your so exhumed in what draws you to them that the flaws are irrelavent. Images of long relations and happy endings circle your mind.................. NOOOO snap out of it. I've been told to give only a piece of my heart, and a player dosent fall. Is it ok to allow myself to fall "head over hills"? I guess i'll close my eyes and jump of the edge , I hope my heart dosent break on the concret.

Finding You.

Entering a new world, or just a new stage in life, you search for a big something ⎯ yourself. The question is how do you find it? Where do you look? Im currently asking myself these questions and finding wierd answers. There seems to be nowhere to find it and nowhere to look for it. Finding yourself seems to be like trying on clothes. Another outfit is another character. The bad boy look. The nice guy. The smooth and chill boy. The smart guy. The artistic one. I find myself taking things from all these characters and creating a new character. Im creating someone that has many different qualities, talents, and flaws. Someone that im proud of and my family is proud of. Im creating a prototype ⎯ kamau.

that little moment!

You know when you meet a new person and you both have that cool connection from the start? Then you both seem to be getting closer and closer as friends, and it's beginning to seem like a friendship that's gonna last awhile. It appears to good, in a way. It's\ so good that you begin to search for "that little moment". You know? the little thing they say or do that lets you know the friendship wont go to far. You seem to wish and hope it never comes because the chemistry seems to be great and you see the partnership going a long way. This MAY BE IT !!!, you think, THIS MAY BE THE "BEST FRIEND" . then before you know it they show a little sign that lets you know this isn't the one. It tends to happen so fast and once they do whatever it is that sends you "over" you feel a dropping sensation. A feeling of disappointment. Another name off the friend list and into the associate pale.